Recently, a friend asked, "if I have to choose only one among writing, reading, traveling, and photography and forgo the remaining three forever, which one would I choose over others?" Obviously, he knows me only too well and knows that I barely can imagine leaving any of these four - the four major among many other of my addictions.

Although I settled down for a hierarchy of my affection for these four than choosing one of these - it was hard even to imagine to let go any of these. But the point here is not what I chose. I think I have become addicted to too many things, people, and activities. I love a lot of those and can barely imagine living without any one of my addictions, though mere existence is a possibility.

Perhaps that was a God-send. Perhaps that was a reality check. Perhaps that was just an innocent question. But it definitely had a butterfly effect in my head - I have to learn to live without a lot... be it writing, or reading, or traveling, or photography, or even You... dearest!!

Some old sketches

Found some old sketches in my files today and just thought of putting those up here. None very impressive though, but I love these. One reason is, perhaps, that among all the sketches, I ever drew, only these remain. Some thrown away, some gifted, and some - never sketched. Though these titles are completely fresh - I never gave titles to any of my sketches, just like my poems.

If you're still reading and want to have a look at these sketches, enlarge these and observe. There are so many faces, so many question-marks, and so many incomplete shapes. Perhaps, you may find me in there, or perhaps, yourself too.

तुम

खुदा देता है!

The Impressionist

P.S. - Interestingly, in my class six quarterly exams, I got 11 out of 50 in drawing. Evidently, I have not improved a lot, just learnt disguising the incompetence :)

Anniversary

एक बरस बीत गया

सूरज पाने बढ़ा था

हाथ जल गया केवल
हाथ कुछ नहीं आया!

"You're not entitled to a smooth meal" Day

Well.... Today was like this only... When I sat for my morning tea with an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S., there was a knock on my door for match-box. Then during Dibbi's thesis seminar, the snack guy completely forgot me and kept passing snacks and tea to everyone around but me. Thankfully, the seminar was too good to keep my attention off my rattling and gurgling stomach.

But the funniest one was when I ran to the mess after the seminar for a coleslaw sandwich and grabbed a plateful of those. As I left the plate on the table to get a cuppa and returned, my plate was GONE, without leaving a trace of a crumb behind . All I could see was two junior FPMs and another fachchi munching some sandwiches, completely oblivious to a hungry, surprised, and confused me. However, to rescue the poor (and hungry) soul, one of the junior FPMs, who obviously was observing the whole scene, informed the busy-bee sandwich munching fachchi - "haven't you taken his plate!"

Yeah, the first term at WIMWI really gives people some out of body, soul, and mind experiences. And this was one of those for the poor acads-tormented fachchi. She sat there, embarrassed, staring at the half-eaten sandwich and at me by turns; and I stood there, first utterly confused and then, smiling, with efforts to control a burst of laughter.

Finally, the wisdom dawned on us and she offered me my plate back, with a half eaten sandwich and I ran for another platter, with murmurs of ohhh, it's fine!!! As I sat opposite to her with a platter and a glass full of tea, both of us kept smiling at the whole incident. After 15 minutes of embarrassment, she sheepishly apologized and left for another session of muggai; and I stood up for another round of munching.

I wrote another poem today. This was the eighth one that traces itself back to you. You inspired all of these at least, if not many more. You have read some of them and some of them would be completely new to you, that is - if you ever wish to read those.

I have so many questions. I have so many answers. No question matches the answers. No answer matches the questions.

It's all breaking. It's all shattering. It's all melting down.

Life is irreparably damaged.

Would you like to have some evening tea?

Just Know It!!

Years ago, when he used to preach us about how information is important and how knowing can change our world, some of us believed him, some kept gaping at him, and some were simply disinterested. As I vaguely remember now, I was my usual skeptical self - Yeah... might be info-tech is damn powerful and knowing is important but you seem to be stretching it too far man!

But as they say, you never know until you know (I don't know who said that but in case nobody said that, it's my copyright now). So, in the recent past, I realized the power of information and the virtues of knowing.

And the enlightenment dawned from many sources over the time. Be it the reading of Arthshastra by Kautilya, where he draws the details for espionage and underlines the criticality of such information for the emperor or the use of Right To Information (RTI) Act, 2005 to get my thousand bucks back as well as to get the information from bureaucrats for a study.

But the reason of writing it all now is that I recently started tracking the traffic on my blog through some tracking tools. And I am really glad to announce that my blogs, which in my view were followed by barely two people - including yours truly, are not 'that' unknown. With about 250+125 views in three weeks and at least 24+13 unique visitors from two countries and over 15 regions, I am glad. Yeah... one can laugh it out! But I never expected even this much action here. Not that that I write for others but that sure gives me some more spirit to carry on with babbling and blabbering.

Thanks to all those who visited and more thanks to those who visited again :)

सात साल

It will be seven years in two more days, when Prof. Vaishampayan gave me this pen in our Macro Economics class during B.Com. III year. It will be seven years in two more days, when a friend had left the class in anger.
It will be seven years in two more days, when we spoke for the first time and I had got two new friends. One of them is gone long ago and second, not so long ago.
I don't know why I am recalling it all today. It will be seven years in two more days.

Some verses that were written once by someone and from some unknown dimension, just slip into my life to speak my mind...

कभी-कभी बाज़ार में यूँ भी हो जाता है
कीमत ठीक थी जेब में इतने दाम नहीं थे
ऐसे ही इक बार मैं तुमको हार आया था।

*******

तू तो नफ़रत भी ना कर पायेगा इस शिद्दत के साथ
जिस बला का प्यार तुझसे बेखबर मैनें किया।

*******

ये कैसे रिश्तों में फंस गया मै, ये कैसे रिश्ते निभा रहा हूँ
जता रहा हूं किसी से चाहत, किसी से नफ़रत छुपा रहा हूँ।

मैं ख़ुद को बिल्कुल बदल चुका हूं,तेरी हदों से निकल चुका हूँ
के वक्त रहते सम्हल चुका हूं, यकीन ख़ुद को दिला रहा हूँ।

*******

ज़रा आवाज़ का लहज़ा तो बदलो
ज़रा मद्धिम करो इस आँच को सोना
कि जल जाते हैं कंगुरे नर्म रिश्तों के
ज़रा अल्फ़ाज़ के नाखुन तराशो
बहुत चुभते हैं जब नाराज़गी से बात करती हो।

*******

तेरे लिये तो मैनें यहाँ तक दुआयें की
मेरी तरह से कोई तुझे चाहता भी हो।

*******

हमारे बीच जो भी अनकहा था
वो शब्दों से मिटाया जा रहा है।