Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Post future...

And when you're old, you run out of hopes and dreams. You just know who you are going to be and what you are going to be. Most importantly, being young or being old has hardly anything to do with the age, the same way as being modern or being wise hasn't. Its not about how many years have you been on earth but how many years you have lived inside yourself.

I no longer think much about future. I, sort of, know that it is there and it is coming. What lies beyond the next curve of space and what may appear beyond the next twist of time. That is why I have started living in present, and sometimes, in past - because most of my life is there.

I know that I am not going to write poetry anymore. I know that I will be a professor. I know that I will never be able to join politics. I will never have company to tread the globe. I will have more money than will to spend and I will have more nights than sleep in my eyes. But perhaps there is a flair left of that ol'buddy. Perhaps that is why, despite knowing all this, I still crave to learn some more languages, watch some more movies, and to read some more books.

Well, I do not want to have any regrets, or should I say, any more regrets than I already have, when I leave this world. And I want to leave like a contented man, like a man with more life in his years than years in his life. And when I fly away, breaking the feeble chains of last worldly charms and last few chains of affection, I don't want to be followed by voices that may hold me back. I'd rather prefer, if someone could play Bob Dylan...

Meet me Jesus, meet me,
meet me in the middle of the air
If these wings should fail to me,
Lord, won't you meet me with another pair

Lord, in my time of dying don't want nobody to cry
All I want you to do is take me when I die
Well, well, well, so I can die easy
Well, well, well, so I can die easy...


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