Sunday, August 24, 2008

Dear Shakespeare, It's all in our stars...

Around my under-grad's first year time, my mausi started learning astrology for reading horoscopes and all of us, driven by curiosity, happily served as the guinea pigs for that newly acquired knowledge. It was fun, amusing, and sometimes baffling also; but it mostly remained a superstition. Although I got my horoscope read and interpreted, I seldom believed those prognostications. I was, at best, an agnostic.

In the coming years, we witnessed many a predictions and foretelling coming true - almost as many as that went wrong. But as another fun thing, I started learning astrology and horoscope reading myself. Although I never learnt it too well, thanks to my impatience and tight time-schedules, but I managed to understand some bits and pieces of the puzzle.

In the past four years, I've done the readings for a few friends as well as have been keeping a watch on my own horoscope, in addition to consulting with some more enlightened ones. And over the period, I've got so many predictions correct about the looming crises and the good times coming that I somehow stand converted into believing in the 'science' of astrology.

Horoscope reading has benefited me in at least one dimension - I understand now that neither good nor bad times are permanent. And with astrological guidance, I can even estimate the duration of such phases. Sure, it helps in keeping me cool through the ups and downs of life. So what was fun, superstition, and unscientific once, I have no reasons to not believe it now.

Therefore, Dear Brutus, do not believe that Shakespeare fella (or that Cassius either), when they say, "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars..."

Saturday, August 16, 2008

पुकारो मुझे नाम लेकर पुकारो...

So many names, each with a tale to tell, and so many memories with every name...

Family and links called me Manu, the first ever name. School-name was Siddharth, which, later on, changed to Siddhartha. At IIMA, the FPM batch called me Professor and the dorm-name was Narad, with a weird reasoning behind.

Friends called me Siddhu, when the cricketer was at his career's height; and they called me Sid, when Dil Chata Hai became a hit. Although I was writing as Sid for more than two years then and Kanhaiya Lal Nandan had already published an article 'Sid Maane Siddhartha' by then, the abbreviated name is now single-handedly attributed to the movie only.

Some friends named me Buddha (as in old man) and one even called me Buddha (as in Gautam Buddha). And there are a few, which were very person-specific, Like - Siddha, Sadoo, Chhotu, and a few more... I was even a Fariyal (Angel) once.

There are some embarrassing ones too, which was the precise purpose of using such names; like - Seenkia (Straw-like) and Mrignayani. And there are a few, which I never came to know; for example - if my students at ICC had given me a name, what foes called me, and of course, what my friends call me in my absence.

Many of these names would be lost in the tides of time and many more will come as moments go by. Somehow, I love all these names for they have become a part of my being...

So what would you call me today?!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Whatever happens, happens for Good.

In my life, it was the third time when I had to break away. Sometimes I feel like running back in time and hold every moment so close and so tight that I may never lose it. But if wishes were horses...

About the first two times, who, when, and why stands irrelevant now. Perhaps, soon the third's details will also become immaterial. Perhaps, I'll realize the same old truth once more - Whatever happens, happens for good. Perhaps, this loneliness and this melancholy will be short-lived. Or, perhaps.... NOT!

Yes, there are times when I feel too agitated within; there are times when I want to melt down; and there are times when I want to tell it all to the one concerned. But then, they are not there to listen - perhaps, they never were.

It is weird. It hurts to be in such a position. It feels good to be so free of obligations. It feels good to live as per my own wish. It hurts to be so far from the most precious wish.

But like every good and bad patch of life has taught me something, I believe, this one is also not going in vain. After all, whatever happens, happens for good...

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

I don't know where I am heading to and what I am doing! I have no idea why I am behaving the way I am behaving and I have no idea of things I've been babbling! I don't know what my next step would be and what mischief would I commit next!

Go away from me - don't try to be even a bystander. I don't know whom will I hurt next and I don't know what will I destroy next! May be, it will be your affection or your sympathy or your pity towards me - go away before I destroy it all. Go away before you also begin to hate me. Go away before I hate myself more for hurting you.


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