Who breaks the thread

Today, I was in the process of updating my contact address and phone number with my insurance company. For user confirmation, they asked my most memorable date. I told them the date. I also wanted to tell them that why that date was the most memorable. I wanted to tell them that that date will always remain the most memorable. I wanted to tell them that there is a most forgettable date also. But at the end, I just told them the date and they thanked me for it.

And then, in one of my friends' notes, there was this line -

Who breaks the thread -
the one who pulls, the one who holds on?

Yes! I know that I pulled the thread. I pulled it and kept pulling. When I was done pulling, I realized that the other end was already left lose. They were already gone long before they were gone. And I am left there with some dates, lots of threads, and yet another mourning...

wasn't there some couplet like
रिश्तों की डोर किसी तरह सुलझती ही नहीं
खत जला डालिये मगर तहरीर तो जलती ही नहीं

Whattay 'Diary'able life

This week, my shopping list includes ‘diary’ also. One more (poetry) diary got over. I don’t understand it - the lesser I seem to write, the quicker it seems to get over. Perhaps quantity has given way to quality. In that sense, it truly reflects my life. In either case, I was happier with a lot less.

That was about the poetry diary. And the ‘diary’ diary?

I no longer write the personal diary. There used to be a need to talk to myself. The need is more than ever now. There used to be a time to talk to myself. The time is lesser than ever now. In the past few instances, I wrote few lines – just a few random updates. And then, the life stopped - for the past one year or so, there isn’t nothing to write about but not anything that I wish to record.

Sometimes, I think I should burn down all my diaries... just like I did with my life. I wish if my beloveds could do this, just the way they did with my life.

My blabbering on this blog has become very dejecting for so long now… So here is happy thought…

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Oh Ohhh..... there is None!!!

Life is not calling... where am I??

On this day, one year ago, Life changed...
or was it 16 days later?!!
It changed and it changed in steps
it changed in bits and pieces
and then, it changed fully.

They say, life keeps changing...
For me, it changed too
but then it never changed.

Life happens just once in a lifetime.
And when it changes, there is no way
but to move on...
and to move on
without life...!!

I write and I don't

I can always write about

• The one I loved
• Narcissus (means yours truly)
  
• IIMA
• The things I want to do in life
  
• The things I couldn't do in life
• Traveling places
• F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
  
• Lucknow

I always want to write about but never do

• Films
  
• Books
• Politics and Policy
  
• Religion and Mythology
• Poetry
• Economy and Economics
• The Bitches and The Bastards
  

I never want to write about

• How can I write about the things I don't want to write about :P
  

The girl in the painting

Long long back, my didi painted her. She stayed in my room for three years before didi got married and took her to her new home. I felt as if that wall was also alone without her.

On my next birthday, when didi asked what do I want, i asked if she could return back. Didi happily obliged us both :)

For the past ten years, she is there. But for the past five years, she is again alone as I was in Ahmedabad.

Now I have enough empty walls in my home in Indore but somehow, she has become a part of my room back at home in Lucknow.

Whether she is with me or not, she will always remain the most beautiful and cherished painting of my life.

It is just a coincidence that she is a painting. She could have been a person as well. I think she is.