Samay O......... Dheere Chalo...!!!

This random song player is a wonderful thing. It knows which songs to play when.

Late last night, one of my closest friends - Parimal - called up to ask if I remember his high-school crush, who lived nearby. Withstanding my reputation, I did remember all her details that were known to us. He found her through Facebook photo tags in some common friend's album. He, in fact, also discovered that her name is slightly different from what we always thought it to be. Although they got talking further but she is a different person now... long gone the cute girl in her school dress and pigtail.

I sometimes wonder how Emma looks like now!! Thinking of her, it hardly matters now. In my inner world, she is always the same Emma - in her pink-gray uniform, small black wristwatch, calm demeanor, and killer smile :D. May be, some day I too will find her tagged in some album... and then, who knows - may be another blog post!!

Today morning, I switched on some music on my laptop and was just roaming in the house, thinking of all those talks of last night. And then, the 'random' player digged out this long lost ghazal - "koi chaudahavi raat ka chaand ban kar..." This was the first ghazal I ever heard - a late summer night, sitting on the banks of Gomti, listening it in Parimal's voice, and imagining Emma.

As the track ended and the initial music of the next track began, I prayed it not to be the one... but it was. It was "teri khushboo mein base khat main jalaata kaise" - the ghazal I heard first during the days of 'moving on'. I heard this one too with million thoughts - happy that Emma happened, sad that I never had Emma, and philosophical for I will always have Emma.

The next track playing was "samay o..... dheere chalo"

The thermocol ball

Today, I found one of those in my pocket again - the thermocol ball.

In our final days at IIMA, it was summer training time for PGPs and I was alone in my dorm. I slept at my usual 2-2.30 in the morning and was dreaming peacefully with the morning breeze setting in. And suddenly I had to jump out of my bed as there was a loud bang on my door. I was tired, half asleep, half awake, confused, and scared to hell - did I hear it right? Was the banging in my dream or for real? Who could beat the door so brutally? Is it some robber or is it some watchman? Is it some ghost from the horror movie I was watching before sleep? Somehow I gathered some courage and shouted with a dry throat - who is this - who is there...

Scared to death, I opened the door with a blank mind. There was no one except utter darkness and then there was

-->light giggling. Trying hard to regain my senses, I saw two of my friends coming out of the dark and laughing their guts out. It was the farewell night for one of the first friends I met at IIMA. I joined happily into the group of two for waking up more friends around the campus and bidding farewell with senti speeches. After some time, the three of us came back and sat chatting in her room. There was a bean-bag whose seem was torn and thermocol balls were pouring out of it. We played around with those balls - pouring bucketfuls at each other, rubbing hands on them to see the crazy run of thermocol balls.
Some 3 hours later, we dropped her to station with a promise of meeting some day soon. For many days afterwards, those thermocol balls kept popping out of my pockets and from various corners of my room... and as I wore the same pants again today, another ball popped out of the pocket. Perhaps this was one last thermocol ball that survived washing and there may not be any more balls popping out like this.... but memories.... of that night and all those years that made that night so valuable.... oh those will always keep popping out...!!!

This time shall pass

During my last days at IIMA, my best friend told me a story of Akbar and Birbal. Akbar asked Birbal what words would he say to make a laughing man cry and a crying man laugh. Birbal replied - This time shall pass.

I have taken most important decisions of my life in a flash - be it leaving Colvin Taluqdars' for taking commerce or leaving IRMA or leaving life behind and jumping in a void. These sudden flash decisions gave me a tough time for many days but in retrospect, those were the most cherished days. In the language of Calvin and Hobbes, they built my character.

I had taken another flash decision few days back and I left everything that was there. I guess I am still in the period where my character is being built. I hope that in retrospect, this time will also be cherished. Once, honored ustaad Sheen Kaaf Nizaam sahib told me - "Siddharth hi rahna, Buddh na ban jaana". I guess for the time being, I am defying the honored ustaad... but then, This time shall pass!!