"There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy."
Albert Camus in The Myth of Sisyphus
For quite sometime now, I have been pondering over it - Suicide. And Camus, as one of my favorite authors, has definitely obliged. But as always, Camus enlightened me with the questions and Hermann Hesse with insights. This is what he says in Steppenwolf -
"The suicide, and Harry was one, need not necessarily live in a peculiarly close relationship to death. One may do this without being a suicide. What is peculiar to the suicide is that... he is always exposed to an extraordinary risk, as though he stood with the slightest foothold on the peak of a crag whence a slight push from without or an instant's weakness from within suffices to precipitate him into the void.
For us they are suicides nonetheless; for they see death and not life as the releaser. They are ready to cast themselves away in surrender, to be extinguished and to go back to the beginning."
I do not feel like saying much - मैं कुछ कहता नहीं खुद से, कहीं कोई गलतफ़हमी न हो जाये!! Just that I am an optimist and I love life... or should it be a sentence in past tense? I have lived, I have lost, I have loved, I have lost, I have won, I have lost, and at the end of it all, I have lost. But then, I am not going to fade away... I will burn out... some day... some night!!!
In any case, Suicide -what a Goddamn silly thing to do. I wont even get to watch their faces - the face of those heartless destiny bitches. Dying is an art, like everything else and I do it exceptionally well, like everything else. And that is why, I die moment by moment... but elegantly and with a laugh, standing on the peak of the crag of life.
वो जो शायर था
बहकी-बहकी सी बातें करता था
चाँद से गिर के मर गया है वो
लोग कहते हैं ख़ुदकुशी की है
Seriously, is Life worth living, especially when it is without 'Life'??
P.S. - The title of this post is due to Neil Young, a Canadian singer - lyricist. This line is often mis-attributed to Curt Cobain, who used it in his suicide note.