One, Two, Three, and Counting....

It's been three years since we came to join IIMA. I landed here on a hot Saturday afternoon of May 28, 2005. For one month, we had much fun and enjoyment in encountering so many new things at once. Those were the days of preparatory program - days of least work load possible at IIMA.

Soon after, the dream run was replaced by the first term. Although, in retrospect, even the first term is worth missing - those new friends, new campus, unknown knowledge frontiers, new understanding of known subjects, amazing professors, sleepless times, surprise quizzes, and never ending cases and readings. In between, we still managed some weekend parties, small outings, or just sitting around LKP and discussing nothing with the gravity of most intense thoughts. All of us were so busy in studies that we never got the time to realize how time is flying by.

First year ended, more or less, like this only - without giving us much time for stopping and thinking. And despite all the loads, grades, and frustrations, everything was great. I was growing beyond my imagination - not only mentally but also physically - mess food was too rich to digest by sitting on the study-table only. Nonetheless, the first year was over and to my surprise, I was still here. I always thought that I'm never going to make it through the first year. I had secretly decided that I will not leave IIMA by my own and let the authority kick me out. Fortunately that didn't happen even during the second year.

In second year, we had our area specific courses. In some of the FPM classes, there were barely 3-4 students. When the life got easier for our PGP batch-mates, it got much harder for most of the FPMs. Not only the workload was more, even the quality expected increased and evaluation became more intense. There were the days when I wished for a 50 hours day. Class duration was normally 2.5 to 3 hours and some days had 2-3 of them. With almost 6-8 hours of preparation for every class, my demand of 50 hours a day was not totally unjustified.

The real nightmarish time came with the fifth term, which faded the whole of the first year. I had max credit-load thus far and some courses were too critical and too time-consuming for me. I reminded myself of my old commitment - don't leave, let them kick you out. But like every good (and bad) thing, even the second year came to an end. What seemed like a relief was actually an even bigger headache - the Comprehensive Qualifier Exam or the CQE, which marks the end of the course-work. We had to qualify the CQE to begin our much awaited thesis work. It took us two months of intense preparation and three months of waiting for the result to know that we have successfully completed the course-work and now can proceed to even more hectic part of the program.

I was lucky enough, unlike most of my batch-mates, to find a guide ready with a thesis topic and willingness to work with me. So, for the first time, I was involved in what might be called as some serious research. The wisdom dawned soon - research needs much more than abilities. It needs loads of persistence, self-motivation, and a very high frustration-bearing capacity. I had given my Thesis Proposal Seminar on April 16, 2008 and before that, had earned some papers to my CV. Now I am trying to build a model and collect primary and secondary data, with the hope of being lucky with consistent and valid results.

This is pretty much the story of my academic journey of past three years at IIMA. I have at least one more year to go before I complete my thesis and I wish to complete it within that time. But there is a part of me that wishes to stay here forever, for these are the days that I am going to miss in the years to come. And no matter where I go or what I do, there will be a part of me that will stay here - forever - for this is the place, which has written one of the most beautiful chapters of my life....

Alas! I could never be your man!!!

If you want a lover
I'll do anything you ask me to
And if you want another kind of love
I'll wear a mask for you.

If you want a partner
Take my hand
Or if you want to strike me down in anger
Here I stand
I'm your man!

Ah, the moon's too bright
The chain's too tight
The beast won't go to sleep
I've been running through these promises to you
That I made and I could not keep
Ah but a man never got a woman back
Not by begging on his knees
Or I'd crawl to you baby
And I'd fall at your feet
And I'd howl at your beauty
Like a dog in heat
And I'd claw at your heart
And I'd tear at your sheet
I'd say please, please
I'm your man!

And if you've got to sleep
A moment on the road
I will steer for you
And if you want to work the street alone
I'll disappear for you
If you want a father for your child
Or only want to walk with me a while
Across the sand
I'm your man!

ALAS... I COULD NEVER BE YOUR MAN!!!

P.S. - Above is a song by Leonard Cohen. The title and the last line are not a part of the song and have been adapted from the title of a movie. And this juxtaposition does have a meaning.

Wear the old coat and buy the new book.

From a bookmark that I happened to pick from the payment counter of Crossword. Somewhere inside, it hit a chord and said so simply a thing that I always felt so deeply.

Post future...

And when you're old, you run out of hopes and dreams. You just know who you are going to be and what you are going to be. Most importantly, being young or being old has hardly anything to do with the age, the same way as being modern or being wise hasn't. Its not about how many years have you been on earth but how many years you have lived inside yourself.

I no longer think much about future. I, sort of, know that it is there and it is coming. What lies beyond the next curve of space and what may appear beyond the next twist of time. That is why I have started living in present, and sometimes, in past - because most of my life is there.

I know that I am not going to write poetry anymore. I know that I will be a professor. I know that I will never be able to join politics. I will never have company to tread the globe. I will have more money than will to spend and I will have more nights than sleep in my eyes. But perhaps there is a flair left of that ol'buddy. Perhaps that is why, despite knowing all this, I still crave to learn some more languages, watch some more movies, and to read some more books.

Well, I do not want to have any regrets, or should I say, any more regrets than I already have, when I leave this world. And I want to leave like a contented man, like a man with more life in his years than years in his life. And when I fly away, breaking the feeble chains of last worldly charms and last few chains of affection, I don't want to be followed by voices that may hold me back. I'd rather prefer, if someone could play Bob Dylan...

Meet me Jesus, meet me,
meet me in the middle of the air
If these wings should fail to me,
Lord, won't you meet me with another pair

Lord, in my time of dying don't want nobody to cry
All I want you to do is take me when I die
Well, well, well, so I can die easy
Well, well, well, so I can die easy...

"Die Religion ... ist das Opium des Volkes"

As I watched 'Khuda Kay Liye', followed by many debates and dialogs with islamic scholars on the issues raised in the movie and the references of quran and hadith cited therein, all that left me as clear as I was. If, for a while, I set aside the 'Jihaad to make the world a Dar-ul-Islam' aspect of Islam and just concentrate on the issue of why there are so many issues and so much emphasis for 'living by the book', it melts down to a very different plane - it's in the human nature.

As a pop-theory, without any claims of originality, Islam suffers the same fate that christianity got through in middle ages and Hinduism in Vedic periods; i.e - absolute rule of a single class - clergy in this case. They interpreted and mutilated everything for their convenience, precisely as tricks of twisted minds but in disguise of speaking for God. I see a pattern in all three religions - first of all, the clergy created a language barrier through Sanskrit, Latin, and Arabic, which were not the lingua franca but became the language of God. The process and stages were different though, but the end-results were the same.

Thereafter, clergy had a free run to change or interpret the so-called God's words. After language, they began dictating what to study and how to live - curbing individual freedom because there are God Spoken rules for everything. If draw the parallels further, they began hideous targeting. Simply, oppressing the easiest target they could find or the one which could retaliate the least. All three commonly chose women. Apart from that, christianity burnt millions in the name of witch-craft and anti-christ, Islam attacked non-believers, and Hinduism fought with Buddhists and in the absence of any other obvious targets, segregated its own one-fourth.

In this sense, organized religion, or rather, institutionalized religion is no different from or better than fascism or communism. In essence, all are based on seeking absolute control. And that is why, religion is no matter of theology, mythology, or sociology. It has to be studied in the light of psychology, where human brain becomes its own worst enemy in a bid to seek absolute control over its own petty universe.

O(pi)nion

"How can we solve world problems when our best advisers are busy cutting hair, driving cabs, and mixing drinks?"

If you want to cheer yourself up with some spontaneous laughter, just read through some comments on rediff news or any similar site. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry has a bunch of opinions, guts to express it publicly, and ready to conquer the world with their intellectual 'insights'. Not only that, just try to refute one's expert opinion and they are ready with all the vengeance. And there need not to be any connection between the article and their commentary. If the article seeks underpinnings of inflation, the expert commentators can blame cheerleaders of IPL; China-Tibet and Kashmir cannot be solved because there is no potable water in Chennai; and if it's about food crisis in the world, it must be due to following Gregorian calendar. Best are the spammers, who never loose focus. They just keep advertising for their arbit sites amid all this experts' brainstorming.

As an afterthought, it is really depressing to realize that these are the masses who vote and choose the national leaders in every election. This also makes it clear why we have such crooks and idiots as our representatives and perpetually successful leaders.

The company you keep

For long, I've been thinking of writing about some companies - the ones one would like to keep in good lists and the ones in bad lists too. I so far believed, pretty much in sync with the general notion, that big brand names, lucrative ads, lush shops, and neatly uniformed work force is enough to raise confidence in products, services, and after sales support. Au-contraire, there is almost no correlation between these factors. And on the basis of those hard-learned experiences, I've chucked some corporations completely whereas, for some, I am willing to bear a bit of extra burden too. Instead of preparing a check-out or chuck-out list, however, I'd just share some of my experiences here.

When I wrote a mail to Nescafe about their coffee not tasting that good any longer, got a phone call, a very sweet voice, and offer for a free jar of coffee to write another feedback. That was really reassuring - at least, Nescafe cares. But another coffee company, Cafe Coffee Day, is damn unresponsive. None of my communications were answered or even acknowledged. And nopes, it's not the difference of a foreign vs. Indian company - my further experiences proved that.

Big Bazar, the supermart by Pantaloons, is though very responsive at the top level - I got a personal call from the local store manager and quick e-mail responses; yet they are not the ones whom I deal every time I visit Big Bazar. And the ones I've to deal with are too rude and even insulting. But the remedy was easy - I don't go to Big Bazar anymore.

Another similar case was of Sony - the Sony World gave a non-functional battery charger and was very reluctant to talk after making the sales. However, a single mail to Sony India got the charger checked, and finally replaced with a new one, despite there being no guarantee or warranty whatsoever.

Another different and unexpected experience was with Tata - no matter how much trust the name raises, they are really unpredictable. Tata Croma manager responded in two days with a very good natured reply and Tata Star Bazaar was not even willing to listen if there is a problem. Perhaps, it was the difference between two arms of a man.

However, most amazingly, my experience with Indian Railways (IR) has been pretty good. When we were stuck in Abu Road after a derailment accident, the station master tried his bit to help us out with whatever he could and that too without a frown, despite all the hullabaloo all around. However, besides that, the experience with IR has been mixed and in essence, IR is not bankable. Similarly, IRCTC, the online reservation site and service managers for IR, are highly unpredictable - after almost five months, I am yet to get a refund for that ticket, which unfortunately was booked online with IRCTC and which, even more unfortunately, has no validity across the counter.

Some more unexpected and very mixed experiences concern the two largest banks of India - SBI and ICICI. SBI, Chowk, Lucknow branch has been a real pain in the neck with their rude, unresponsive, and rather, hostile behavior. SBI, IIMA, Ahmedabad, on the other hand, has been too good at every level, including the manager who helped me recover my lost thousand rupees that I had written-off after 2 years of the ATM malfunction. Now about ICICI - opening an account in their main branch was such a painful experience that I felt like return of the baburaj. Comparing the two banks, though SBI is ubiquitous with its 10,000 ATMs and 6,000 branches, online services of ICICI beat SBI hands down.

After all my experiences with so many corporations and organizations, all I have learnt is not to believe in that rhetorical pomp and show; to take seriously the lessons of 'Organizational Behavior', and; most of all, to value individuals, for they are the ones who make or break an organization.