हमनशीं साँस फूल जाती है

Long long ago, I used to read and follow a lot of random things. Those included the history and development and news and updates of so many diverse fields, like physics and technology, evolution and environment, poetry and photography, economics and politics, sports and movies, culture and literature and wars and travelogues and what not... 

Then, one fine day, I decided to give up. I decided to concentrate on economics and current affairs only. I consciously stopped following technology and sports and literature and music and wars and maths and psychology and what not! 

Whether I could have continued all that or not, I don't know. Whether that was a good decision or not, I don't know. Whether I regret that or not, I don't know. All I know is that it's another night, where I had decided to sleep early and wake up early and be more disciplined. All I know is that it's another night, where I've been reading my old blogposts for over an hour. All I know is that it's another night, where I thought of listening to Leonard Cohen, watching Ijaazat, eating maggi, taking a walk, recording some poems, and not doing any of it! And that's only so far. 

I've been, as always, writing a lot of poems and posts in my head lately... I've been talking a lot more to myself lately... I've been trying to remain sane and not suicidal a lot lately. I've been realising this, what Jaun Eliya wrote, a lot lately:

आप अपने से हमसुख़न रहना

हमनशीं साँस फूल जाती है !