The Last Trip

One year since the last trip together... perhaps ever! Now only some images remain - images drawn with sun rays, images drawn on water, images drawn in memories.

Sometimes it is better to let go. Sometime it is better to move on. That is what I have done. That is what I had to do. There were no choices. There were no parallel universes. I often ask myself what if life gives me a chance again? I often tell myself that life is not lived with 'what ifs'.

I wish to see all those places again someday. I wish to make all those trips again someday. I know those trips will never be the same again. I don't want to know those trips will never be the same again. I live with images. I live with 'what ifs'. I still live with you.

Cricket in my life

Recently I played my second ever cricket match at IIMA. First one was FPM senior vs. junior and the recent one was dorm 6 vs. dorm 9.
In both the matches, I had to field at third man. I remember that in school days, I always got to field at silly point or long-off.
I wonder if that is a reflection of my life on my game. I wonder why I never get long-on, point, fine leg, or even, short leg.

Change

A lot has changed since you are gone...

I still go places and I still shoot a lot but you are not in those frames anymore. "Nomadic Dreams" is a sacred folder now with the memories of all the tours that we did together and all the journeys since your departure are in "wanderlust". And it is not about naming the folders alone - in going places, there are no dreams anymore but only a lust for wandering, a quest to escape.

I still have those tea and F.R.I.E.N.D.S. sessions but there is one cup less now. I still cook sometimes and sometimes I eat outside but it is never as fulfilling as skipping a meal with you.

I still write poems for you but none looks up and smiles. I still read those pages of my slam-diary and those poems too, which you wrote for me. Words are all the same but as dead as 'us'.

I know there is no sense in writing all this now. Nothing can bring you back and nothing can make for whatever has happened. But yesterday, someone asked about you and I couldn't resist myself from falling all over again. Remember how you always said that I am a pessimist and I always emphasized that I am an optimist. It's my destiny to hope...