P.S. to Publish (ed) (ing)

As if they were watching! So after one year of accepting my poem, Kadambini published it in October 2008 issue with editing out some key lines.

And yes, I got a letter of appreciation for Bonsai - a postcard shown here. Feels good again :)

गुंच आ के याफ़्त मी ना शवद आनम आर्ज़ूस्त

"It is more difficult and more bitter when a man fails alone."

Things Fall Apart, Chinua Achebe

"I'll end up alone, just like he did. Our trains on the same track. Ya sure, I am coming up thirty years behind but stops are all the same... bitter town, alone ville, hermit junction."

Chandler Bing (F. R.I.E.N.D.S., Season 2, The One Where Heckles Dies)

"It was a moment unlike anything Adi had experienced before. He raised his hands and started laughing even as tears raced down his face. His heart was bursting with happiness. He had never experienced so much joy in his life. He needed to share it with someone...someone close."

Bombay Rains Bombay Girls, Anirban Bose

I had decided for quite long now that I'd live alone and remain single. I was sure that I'll be fine, as I have my family and my friends and my students, and all of them love me. But then, you know how life sometimes gives us a reality check in the most innocuous and imperceptible ways. And as a consequence of the direct interventions of superior powers, one more of my percepts lies shattered...

Thence, I decided that despite being a loner at heart, I don't want to end up alone. There were times when this solitude was no longer so enjoyable, for it got immersed in loneliness. Those were the unnerving times and I felt like Chandler Bing.

Realizing that, I further realized that there lies the real irony of life.......

P.S. - The title is a phrase from Persian and literally means, "I am searching for the one, I know I may never find."

Publish (ed) (ing)

Kadambini accepted a poem for publication more than a year ago and it is yet to be published, so my first literary publication now belongs to Vagarth. And after that, another joy came today, when I got my first Real call of appreciation.

A critique-writer, completely unknown thus far, called me to appreciate my first ever publication - the Hindi Story Bonsai in Vagarth (October 2008) issue. In the past two weeks, I have got loads of congrats, appreciations, and applauds from friends and family; and I suppose, most of it was customary and out of courtesy. But getting an applause from a professional reviewer is really great.

And this is for the story I never really considered among my best works. In fact, both of my creations accepted for publication thus far are such. I never really liked either but submitted these only for publication coz of better salability. And the ones I really love and consider to be my best were never sent for publication, although I am pretty sure that those ones won't be accepted at all. Nonetheless, my favorites remain my favorites. Perhaps because when I read those ones now, I witness and relive those emotions, which obviously neither possible nor expected from others.

However, finally, after so long a rumination, I've decided to put up my poetry on a blog, to publish whichever I like the most among my poetry.