A few days ago, some student club asked me to guide a nature walk plus trek. A few days later, I was asked to repeat the course on a nature walk, which comes with a lot of photography, bird-watching, walks, and talks.
There was a time when I'd have jumped on either or both of these opportunities. But not anymore. I just want to run away from people, progressively more and more so.
Today afternoon, I felt like reading from the new poetry books that I received recently. I walked out of the office with the book and thought of several places to sit and read. However, as I walked to each of those, I found one or few people nearby. At the end of it, I just took a long searching walk and came back to my office.
Once, very long back, I had written on this very blog that if I ever have to quit one among poetry, photography, writing, and reading, I'll go crazy but won't be able to quit any. Looks like I spoke too soon. Looks like all four are over. Reading and writing except for professional pressures, is almost over. The camera bag has caught fungus and I have not opened it for many months now. Poetry too, reading once in a while may happen but writing has not been possible for the whole of this year.
I don't know how will I sustain it. I don't know how will I spend my days here. I don't know how will I live. But I guess I will... after all, I never thought I will go on with a life sans love! And yet... here I am!!
