Who breaks the thread?

Who breaks the thread -

the one who pulls, the one who holds on?

History repeats itself - first time as tragedy, the second time as ... as a very lonely, ignored, forgotten, and sad tragedy. Don't believe? See the first time here. And the second time? O you sweet innocent idiot!

So this 2019... I have written a lot of blog-posts this year... as many as reaching back to the 2012 score. But don't worry... no other records will be broken. All the records stop here. They will standstill. Now. Forever.

Why, You ask? Well, as I told someone, and as always, I will repeat myself, Here, Again:

You'll know the moment you know that you cannot know. There ain't no right or wrong answers. There are not even right or wrong questions.
Relationships (and life) are not about winning or losing, holding or pulling, remembering or forgetting...
The only important thing is that the thread is broken... all threads break... all things fall apart... and at the end, all men die (which doesn't imply that all men live.)

Well... what else to say but sing away in shadows with the good ol' pal of sad moods - Leonard Cohen:

And I loved you

when our love was blessed

And I love you

now there's nothing left

But sorrow

and a sense of overtime

And I missed you

since the place got wrecked

And I just don't care

what happens next

Looks like freedom

but it feels like death

It's something in between,

I guess

It's closing time!

चाँद में परियाँ रहती थीं

On a Saturday evening, sitting in the office, writing endlessly to meet the self-set impossible goals and then, not meeting them. And yet the good things are - taking several walks in the constant drizzle, sipping multiple cups of flavored teas, and playing random songs.

The day started with SD Burman tracks (the ones composed AND sung by him). The day went through the 90s' pop and film songs. Like there was a pop song with some 5-6 twins dancing throughout to celebrate their 'Yariyan', then there was one with some IITian band dreaming to make more 'Paisa', then there was the melodious Yes Boss, the naughty 'Minnat' from Paheli, and also, the freakish one from Road.

And now, the day is probably going to end with some soft Sufi melodies, like 'Tu Maane ya na Maane dildara, assa to tainu rab manya' or some long-forgotten ghazal of Jagjit... to celebrate the nostalgia and to celebrate the good ol' lost days, like:


मुझको यक़ीं है सच कहती थीं जो भी अम्मी कहती थीं

जब मेरे बचपन के दिन थे चाँद में परियाँ रहती थीं


एक ये दिन जब अपनों ने भी हमसे नाता तोड़ लिया

एक वो दिन जब पेड़ की शाख़ें बोझ हमारा सहती थीं


एक ये दिन जब सारी सड़कें रूठी-रूठी लगती हैं

एक वो दिन जब ‘आओ खेलें’ सारी गलियाँ कहती थीं


एक ये दिन जब जागी रातें दीवारों को तकती हैं

एक वो दिन जब शामों की भी पलकें बोझल रहती थीं


एक ये दिन जब लाखों ग़म और काल पड़ा है आँसू का

एक वो दिन जब एक ज़रा सी बात पे नदियाँ बहती थीं


एक ये घर जिस घर में मेरा साज़-ओ-सामाँ रहता है

एक वो घर जिस घर में मेरी बूढ़ी नानी रहती थीं

It ain't over till it's over!

It was around 1999 or so when I would wake up quite early and jog to the stadium or to the parks or to the Gomti riverbank to watch the sunrise. In those days, there was an old man, who would sit along the same riverbank, singing all along for alms - 

क्या जाने कब भोले भण्डारी, आ जाएँ खुद बन के भिखारी 

कहीं द्वार से लौट न जाएँ, आ कर के भगवान् ... 

So what reminded me of him and his song today? Well, the inspiration or the emotion may appear from anywhere, and most often, from the most unlikely places... 

I know I am pretty late in watching this but finally, I reached the final season of The Big Bang Theory. As I was watching an episode (S12E3), Raj had an epiphany. He was meeting a girl for an "arranged" marriage. He was interested in talking about flowers and the decorations but the girl was interested in talking about the taxes and finances. In that moment, Raj fell silent and said, "I can't do this... There is something you may not know about me but... I am a hopeless romantic.... And this isn't the story I want to tell my grandkids." You see, the inspiration or the emotion may appear from anywhere, and most often, from the most unlikely places! 

In that moment, I too had an epiphany. I would tell you another funnily ironic bit now. Today morning only, after eons, I started the old favorite playlist of Kishore Kumar sad songs. And as I am writing this, our good ol' KK is singing - ख़िज़ाँ के फूल पे आती कभी बहार नहीं... 

P.S. - Did you notice after how many years I am writing so many posts! Now don't guess why...  the inspiration or the emotion may appear from anywhere, and most often, from the most unlikely places...