Friday, December 28, 2018

Alone!

Had a dream last dawn... or was it the same old nightmare? That I was to meet all the old friends... Old as in friends from primary school days! 3 people particularly - and none of them identifies me, none of them has any recollection of me, none of them is friends with me.

And that may all be true for today but it was a dream... (or was it the same old nightmare?). And that all happened in the past. I am alone today. And I was alone in that past of that dream too.

I was feverish, I sweated, and I woke up. Disoriented. I tried closing my eyes, tried telling those friends that I am me, tried recounting everything, tried recalling others (and perhaps they also evaded my memory).

I don't know why I see the same dream (or was it the same old nightmare?) again and again, where I am so alone in the past also. It's not that that I am any less alone now. But yes, nostalgia and past used to be a safe place. Where I was happy. Where I had friends. Where the time belonged to me.

Now, in that dream (or was it the same old nightmare?), I am alone in the past too.

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