Tuesday, December 21, 2010

aadmi ho ki brass band

Saying that marriage changes many things in a man's life is stating the obvious. However, beyond the obvious and obviously visible changes, there are a thousand plus one things that change even more.

For example, for the first time in my life, I snore in my sleep as usual but listen the complaining echo of those in all my waking hours. If I pick my nose, I have to wash my hands 'with soap' and I cannot scratch... you know... anywhere!! And for the first time in my life, my towels have to be changed before they get dirty and the same tee-shirt cannot be worn for two days. I don't even understand what is the point in bathing without getting dirty and that too at least twice daily.

I am also learning that only two bedsheets are not enough for a decent living and three sets of curtains are actually the bare necessity. Now there are more doormats in the house than doors and windows combined and also more categories of dustbins than the number of elements in the periodic table. There are two categories of brooms, three types of dusters, two vipers, three buckets, four mugs, one laundry bag, four types of soap, three types of shampoo, three types of washing powder, four types of combs, five types of hand towels, three types of kitchen napkins, and even four categories of toilet paper.

And it doesn't end here. Earlier, there was one cupboard, one bed, one washing machine, and an electric kettle in my complete home sweet home. But now....!!! Now there is one extra-large cupboard, one double-door cupboard, one small cupboard, two shoe-racks, three bean-bags, two extra mattresses, eight bedsheets, six cushions, four pillows, one carpet, two rugs, six chairs, one center table, one TV table, one study table, one study chair, one TV, one refrigerator, one gas stove, one water purifier, some 18 categories and 89 kind of utensils totaling 479 so far... and yet, the home is incomplete because there is a perpetual shopping list.

I mean isn't it too much to bear that I can't even fart in my bed... not even in my room. And if one day I go to 'pakistan' (come on... you know it means that daily morning trip everybody takes) when her highness is anywhere on the same floor, I am given a lecture about the 23 distinct sounds I make with every sentence beginning with - "aadmi ho ki brass-band".

P.S. - Most of the things written above are exaggeration for that extra humor effect.
P.P.S. - I had to add the P.S. above to save my life.


Manisha said...

ha ha ha ha :D

deep said...


Rachna said...

ya i agree with the 'identity' crisis


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